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Post by Chosen by Cleo on Apr 17, 2011 7:53:31 GMT -5
Hi everyone. Ive been watching the site now for quite some time...fallen in love with many of the greys from their pictures,read your articles etc. In November we had to put our beloved Lady down suddenly and lets just say it was a heartbreaking experiance and wasnt as peaceful for her as I had hoped and as I was told it usually is. I had never been with my pet before when they were being 'let go"... and I now know...based on that morning....can never be there again. Ive started looking at the greys on the site and thinking about another grey ( lady actually came from an animal shelter and was found as a stray). but whenever I start looking....the extreme pain of that morning comes back and the thought of having eventually to be in that situation again in the future...which is a certainty...stops me cold.....I cant bare the thought. Does this mean im just not finished greiving or has the experiance wrecked me from owning another dog??? Help Andrea
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moncheri
Grey Addicted
Broodies are the best!
Posts: 2,843
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Post by moncheri on Apr 17, 2011 9:21:10 GMT -5
Welcome to the forum Andrea - my heart goes out to you for the loss of your dear Lady. Losing a beloved pet is never easy - whether it be a circumstance that you had no control of, or you have to make that tough decision that it is time to let go. I have experienced both. When I was a child I lost my first pet cat (of only 2 years) due to being hit by a car. The grief was unbelievable as there wasn't any sense of closure for me. I have also been present for the euthanasia of two other pet cats and for 1 of my horses. For me I feel I need to be with my pet in those final moments, stroking them and telling them how much I love them as they take that final breath as heart breaking as it is. It is an individual's own personal decision whether to be present or not. There is no right or wrong way. It does sound like it was not a peaceful time for your girl which I believe is unusual - I can tell you for my 3 experiences it was very peaceful for the animal - the horse situation was a bit different from the cats just due to the fact that it is a larger animal but she was still in peace.
The truth of the matter (no matter how harsh it sounds) is that death is inevitable for all our animals. When we take on the responsibility of pet ownership we essentially make a promise to that animal to love & take care of them for however long their stay on earth will be. As you've read on this forum for some it is many years if not a decade, but for the rare few unfortunately it has been mere months. The grieving process is different for everyone as well. My philosophy is that the many joyous days/weeks/years with that animal will far outlast the sorrow and pain of losing them. Like the famous quote - "It is better to have loved & lost than to never have loved at all". You will know when the time is right to once again open you heart to another pet - no one else can determine that for you. As with so many others on this forum, I can tell you that what can help the grieving process is the presence and interaction of other animals. I think that is why so many people often have more than one pet.
You have made a big step forward on just speaking about the heartbreak you've endured. Time does heal wounds - you will never forget Lady - I'm sure you have many fond memories. You gave her a wonderful home at a point in her life when she had no home which proves how much love you have to give.
Hugs to you Andrea for continued healing of your heart & soul.
Carla
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Post by Heather (& KC) on Apr 17, 2011 9:34:49 GMT -5
Hugs to you Andrea. I'm so sorry for your loss. I believe you'll know when the time is right. Some day the happy memories and endless love and companionship you felt with Lady will outweigh the traumatic final moments. Then you'll know it's time to welcome another boy or girl into your life. And, when your next companion chooses you, you'll enjoy every moment (except for any unknowing indiscretions like grey gas that removes paint from the walls, squeaky toy destruction and counter surfing). Those new memories will be added to your memories of Lady which will still bring a smile to your face.
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Post by luvastorm on Apr 17, 2011 11:48:28 GMT -5
Hello Andrea: It's just two weeks since we had to have our old Collie-X put to sleep as he had so many health issues that he no longer had any quality in his life. We were with him at the end but I'm not sure I'd do it again. I guess I'll make that decision when the time arises again and with two old gals, it probably won't be that many years, so I enjoy them while I have them knowing death is inevitable for all living creatures. There are a lot of greyhounds at GRA and other rescue organizations who are badly in need of loving, Forever homes and as soon as you feel you are able, please think about seeing which one (or two) needs you. Carol
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greytluck
Grey Addicted
Hobbes- Always loved, never forgotten.
Posts: 2,335
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Post by greytluck on Apr 17, 2011 12:17:10 GMT -5
I'm so sorry for your loss.
Losing a beloved pet is hard enough without having to go through a difficult passing. I can understand why you feel the at you do. Take peace in the fact that you had her best interest at heart and you made the decision out of love.
I don't know if your vet used a sedative first, but I was told to always insist on it. I think most vets do anyways, but its good to be aware of.
Only you can decide when you're ready to open your home and heart to another dog. I personally believe the old saying that it's better to have loved and lost then never to have loved at all. As hard as losing a pet is I cant imagine my life without them.
Good luck with whatever you decide.
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Post by Chosen by Cleo on Apr 17, 2011 12:49:47 GMT -5
Thanks so much ladies for your thoughts and comments....i laughed and cried reading them. Greytluck...no...there was no sedative and that was alot of the problem...she was howling with pain as they put cathiter in, which made me go insane,which i know made Lady terrified more....it was all just awful awful awful. Its the image of it all that I cant seem to get past...and the guilt is unbearable...its even hard typing this. Im also afraid I will compare all other greys to her....I truly beleive she may be irreplacable in personality, calmness and loving nature ( she became a St John Ambulance therapy dog too).....her only crime was mass shedding....everywhere...lol. I was blessed with a Ruing ,Teeth Chattering( didnt know what the hell she was doing first time she did it!!),Smiling, Statueing when walking and scared....look into my eyes and see my soul dog.... big paws to live up too.... although i so miss the company. Maybe a trip to London....just to see? Thanks again everyone....its nice to know other people understand..... Any other thoughts or suggestions...im open to them.... Andrea
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Post by Sally Blossom on Apr 17, 2011 19:49:26 GMT -5
Hi Andrea: My heart goes out to you and your family. I had to put down my beloved pup (10 years old...but still a puppy at heart) and went through the same kind of drama that your pup had to go through. She was given a sedative but unfortunately her veins kept collapsing. We just cried to-gether and finally she said good-bye. We have always had dogs in this house (always two at a time!!!) and after the last one I felt this was it. I cried enough tears to fill an ocean!!! BUT then we were put onto Bill with all his pups looking for a forever home. It took me a while to even look at them but when Bill let one out of the pen well the rest is history. We came home with two - one adopted us and the other one we adopted!!! They give so much love and ask for nothing. There will always be a place in my heart for the ones that have gone to the Rainbow Bridge, as I know they are all at peace and free from pain. You will know yourself when the time is right and I know that there is one out there especially for you. There is song that says it all: " Only love can break a heart Only love can mend it again" Take care we are all with you.
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OwnedBySummer
Hound Nut
"Summer" (aka Coach Standifer)
Posts: 1,392
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Post by OwnedBySummer on Apr 17, 2011 23:08:35 GMT -5
I'm so sorry for your loss. It's just awful when we lose our beloved pets. You will know when the time is right for you to think about adoption. Summer adopted me the same week that I lost BOTH my dogs. I couldn't stand the empty house and ran straight out to Bill! Some people can do it quickly, other people take a long long time. But you will know.
I'm glad you were with your pup at the end, even though it was horrible. I think it's part of our job as a fur parent to be there at the end. As devastating as it is for us, I believe we should do it to make the whole thing that much easier for our pet. But I've never heard of a vet doing a euthanasia without a sedative! I'm so very sorry you had that experience!
So this is where we part, my friend, and you'll run on, around the bend, gone from sight, but not from mind, new pleasures there you'll surely find.
I will go on, I'll find the strength, life measures quality, not its length. One long embrace before you leave, share one last look, before I grieve.
There are others, that much is true, but they be they, and they aren't you. And I, fair, impartial, or so I thought, will remember well all you've taught.
Your place I'll hold, you will be missed, the fur I stroked, the nose I kissed. And as you journey to your final rest, take with you this...I loved you best.
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Post by luvastorm on Apr 18, 2011 11:15:10 GMT -5
That is a wonderful poem and brought tears to my eyes thinking of Yoda, but he had no quality left in his life and although the decision was extremely painful, it released him from his pain.
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craftycrafter
Grey Lover
Holstein 2008-2011 "gone too soon" Lola 2003-2014 "sweetheart"
Posts: 726
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Post by craftycrafter on Apr 18, 2011 12:31:58 GMT -5
Wannahaveagrey, my condolences to you on the loss of your pup. We lost Holstein in Feb and it was a horrible end for him, one I'd never have wished or imagined for him or any dog. I know in my heart that he doesn't blame me, and I did the best I could for him. Your pup knows this too. Take care
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Post by lotsoffreetime on Apr 18, 2011 12:39:05 GMT -5
HI Andrea,
Like the others, I am so sorry you had to go through what you did in your final moments with your beloved Lady. It may be cold comfort for you, but at least you were with her while she was going through that, to give her comfort, and she did not have to go through that experience with strangers.
I had to let my beautiful Kasie Lynn go in September; I chose to be with her when she went, and I will likely be there for Rio, Tiana, Willy and Merlin when we have to let them go as well. But, there are others in my family who could not be there when their pets needed to go to the bridge. That is understandable. Everyone handles grief and loss differently. It doesn't mean we love or miss them any less.
I still miss Kasie every single day. Some days are still very hard, and I cry a lot...she was with me for 14 years. But I had to let her go, because her life just wasn't comfortable any more, and keeping her here with me was selfish. I would far prefer to cry and miss her, than have her here with me in pain. And, honestly, as the months have gone on, it has become much easier. I think of her more with a smile on my face now than with tears. And, I now have my second "heart-dog" in my Willy-bear. He will never replace my Kasie, but isn't it wonderful that I can have two heart-dogs to have shared my life with?
You will know when it is time to get a new pup. I understand your concern about comparing another dog to your beautiful Lady. No two puppers are alike, just as no two people are alike. But that can be a source of joy and wonderment, too, as your remember things about Lady that you may have forgotten, or things about the new pup that you adore. There are things about each of my new pups that remind me of Kasie that make me smile and say "remember when Kasie used to do that?", and things about them that are entirely new that allow me to move on from her memory and make new ones. I cherish it all. But, most of all, I like that now I am smiling again.
Trust that you will know when the time is right for you.
I hope that you will find peace sometime soon. Hugs...Janette
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mallard
Junior Grey Lover
Posts: 290
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Post by mallard on Apr 18, 2011 16:48:58 GMT -5
Hello Andrea... I too am a member of the 'Been There, Done That' club. Sadly, I've been there, done that way too many times - with both my horses and dogs - and it never gets easier. Currently we have a 14 yr old GSDx and a 11++ yr old PointerX, along with Nixon our soon-to-be-six yr old Greyhound.
We live on a farm, and have our own little 'pet cemetery', with all their collars hanging along the fence. Is it sad to see it out my window every day? Sometimes... But I always remember what pure joy and happiness they gave us.... and what unconditional love they had for us.
The decision to adopt another dog is yours, and yours alone, but just remember this old saying... "Better to have loved and lost, than to have never loved at all".
Nancy, Nixon & his sisters
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Post by fanny9123 on Apr 18, 2011 18:32:19 GMT -5
Wannahaveagrey, our hearts go out to you & your family. We have been there as well. But the best thing I found was that we remember the good times and the laughs that she gave us. It has been a few years but it still feels sometimes like it was yesterday that Fanny was here. We were with Fanny when she passed & I would be there again! I guess what I am trying to say is that at some point you will be ready for another grey. It might be today, it might be a year from now but you will feel it in your heart when the time is right for you to have another grey. Hugs!
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Post by Chosen by Cleo on Apr 18, 2011 18:44:30 GMT -5
Well once again im over whelmed with the feeling of support and understanding on this...thankyou thank you thank you everyone who truly..."hears me"....its so nice to know im not alone or being "silly" as ive heard from a few people I appreciate your comments and thoughts more than you will ever know...... Andrea
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sandysfarm
Grey Lover
positive reinforcement is theElegantSolution
Posts: 676
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Post by sandysfarm on Apr 19, 2011 22:01:39 GMT -5
Hi Andrea You'll notice that a lot of us are right there with you Every time I've let a dog go, I've wondered if I can ever face having to do it again. The pain is just awful, we all know. That's what brings us to tears as we read about your Lady. I'm so sorry she had to leave and that you're left behind to cry. The thing I have to offer is to say that every dog I've ever had, I end up loving just as fiercely as the ones that came before, and that is often sort of unexpected because some of my dogs have popped up from out of the blue. Dogs do things for the human spirit that almost nothing else does; it's as if they are , in basis, a part of us...at the very least, they're hard to escape I've had more than one conversation with my vet about ending a dog's life, while I was still thinking straight, and while there was no situation to deal with. If you go talk to a him or a her by yourself, tell them that you have suffered over Lady's passing and let them know how you want it to go next time, then the decision to be there, or not, can be yours when it has to happen. If that means you need to change vets, then by all means, do that. Vets are very compassionate people and putting a dog to sleep is not something they do with no feeling, so whoever you choose will hold you in high regard for being so caring and clear. Whether you ever have another dog or not, you are part of a huge club of besotted, crazy-mad in love dog owners who all look with fear down the pipe sometimes. But we're here for each other, and that's probably as good as it gets.
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