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Post by greys4us on Dec 30, 2008 9:04:39 GMT -5
What a beautiful Picture of Phoebe.
She was a special girl and yes I see the sweetness in her beautiful eyes. I wish I had got the chance to meet her.
Hugs, take care. Keeping you in our thoughts and prayers.
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Post by samrob on Dec 30, 2008 10:09:28 GMT -5
I can see why you loved her. You had done all you could, and I hope soon you will start your healing. I have been thinking of your family, hugs to you all. There is never enough time with them.
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kwarner
Junior Grey Lover
Posts: 139
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Post by kwarner on Dec 30, 2008 14:11:43 GMT -5
I too left a message on your other thread. What a beautiful girl - I loved the one of her looking out the window - such a peaceful pose!
My heart goes out to you at this difficult time.
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anna2805
Grey Puppy
Angel Phoebe aka."Princess" (Go Bon Freebird)
Posts: 67
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Post by anna2805 on Dec 30, 2008 14:19:12 GMT -5
Thank you greys4us, samrob and kwarner....
It makes me feel little better that others are thinking of Phoebe and even through only the pictures they can appreciate who she was.
I miss her terribly and I'm going through waves of sadness, terrible guilt anddepression that I will not see her again, disbelief because she was doing so well just days ago
I almost threw up from being so nervous when one of my clients (a nurse) mentioned that maybe her death was due to an infection resulting from ripped off nail she experienced a month ago... Im blaming myself that maybe it was because I didn't get her teeth cleaned and the infection from this had caused her death. He teeth were pretty bad (last time she had them cleaned about 3 years ago). If that was the case i would lose my mind for sure. The guilt would kill me. But then the nurse told me that the infection would have showed up in her blood. I hope so. I hope it wasn't the teeth. Her mouth wasn't swallen, she didn't have any pain, she ate. The vet at the emergency also looked at her teeth (both times) I know they were bad. I'm so sorry Phoebe that I didn't clean your teeth!!
I'm not doing good. I hate to talk to people and fortunatelly I do work from home but I have to see clients as well. I'm trying to book so I dont see people... not right now. Today I started crying in front of my client and i was so nervous I was shaking. Thank god she knew Phoebe.... people loved her gentle and sweet nature.
Today we had a client come over and she came with her mother (sweet, quiet old little lady). Her mom loves dogs and she was petting Beamer first (he came up to her by himself and was just standing there to get petted) Then it was Maya's turn. She leans on you when she wants to be petted, so thats what she was doing... she stood there for a while.
Maya has been little sad yesterday and today. Her face is not happy when we talk to her and she's not really smiling. I called her on the bed this morning and she was ignoring me. She was sad. Finally she jumped up. Then she noticed Phoebe's collar next to me. I had it under my pillow me before I fell asleep (I know I'm pathetic). She was sniffing it for a while....
So after she got pets from this lady Maya laid down on her pillow across the room and she fell asleep. Then she woke up, perked up, she became very alert and on guard and then looking towards this lady started growling quietly (!!!!). She was looking either at her on in the air, hard to say because the room is really big. Then Beamer got up and stood in front of Maya.
This just freaked me out. Maya (grey!) rarely barks (only when she's happy) and i have NEVER seen her growling.
I got up and came up to her to pet her and you could see that she seemed distracted still looking in that direction....
So strange....
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Post by sunshinesmom on Dec 30, 2008 14:42:03 GMT -5
Our deepest sympathy and warmest thoughts to you at this very difficult time. We are so sorry for your loss.
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Post by samrob on Dec 30, 2008 15:52:51 GMT -5
Please don't beat yourself up. Many of us have greys with questionable teeth, and yes, the infection would show up in the bloodwork. Pheobe would not have wanted you to think that you had caused this, that is probably why she is hanging around. I like to think that they send us signs to let us know they are OK. I have to work directly with clients too, and I know when I am upset about my pups when they have had problems my clients can tell. Fortunately most of them have pets too, and understand. I am sending good thoughts your way, and virtual hugs. Sleep with her collar, wear her tags, light candles, and do what you need to do to help you through this time. We all love our pups so much, you are not going to get laughed at here for doing these things.
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Post by samrob on Dec 30, 2008 15:54:14 GMT -5
Also, maybe if you have any rescue remedy, it may help to give some to the other pups in the house, and a dose for you too.
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Post by LunaLover on Dec 30, 2008 16:00:25 GMT -5
Oh Anna I'm so sorry for your loss. I have just read about Phoebe's illness. I have no words. Sending many prayers to you and your family.
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Post by multiplicity on Dec 30, 2008 17:21:22 GMT -5
Don't feel bad for grieving or the way grief affects you. Some people barely cry some weep for days. Some people internalize it others wear their heart on their sleeve. When my first greyhound died I cried non-stop until there were no tears and as soon as I could I'd start crying again. I laid on his bed and bawled until is was soaked with tears...I smelled all his blankets and toy so that I could smell him one more time...every cell in my body felt the grief. I thought I would die from grief, it was so intense for me. I had 4 days off from work and each one of them I was a hopeless pile of tears and pain. Losing a pet hurts...it's okay to mourn. {hugs} Edited to add a website that helped me, www.Petloss.com. I still do the Monday night candle ceremony (on my own).
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Post by luvmygrey on Dec 30, 2008 23:48:40 GMT -5
Awwww, Anna....I'm so, so very sorry for your loss. I can't even imagine what you must be going through, but I know it must be tough. Time will heal your hurt, but rest assure she will always live on in your heart, and your memories. And, thank God for pictures.
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Post by luvmygrey on Dec 30, 2008 23:58:51 GMT -5
Anna, I wrote this little verse, and I would like to share it with you and all of us that love our greys. I'm sure you feel the same way. The Heart of a Greyhound There is nothing like the heart of a greyhound. Their love is complete and unconditional in every way. They are dedicated, loving, and loyal and one of the sweetest creatures you will ever have the pleasure of knowing.
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Post by sukiesiamese on Dec 31, 2008 14:34:05 GMT -5
Anna, I am very sorry about the loss of Phoebe. Before we adopted Lilly from GRA we had a very old lab cross whom we adopted when he was 8. I just adored him, he was the sweetest guy; but, as happens, he got old. I, too struggled with decisions about quality of life and ultimately chose have him put to sleep. It was the hardest, most painful decision I have ever made. I understand your feelings of guilt and pain, and can only offer that it does, over time, become less painful. To make the decision you did was the ultimate gift you can give to a member of your family who is suffering, and that is sometimes hard to reflect upon when you are in the thick of things.
Godspeed to Phoebe, and again, my condolences to you and your family.
~Jen
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Post by angelollie on Dec 31, 2008 20:08:50 GMT -5
Anna .. I'm so sorry to read about Phoebe. What a beautiful tribute to did for her on the forum, so sweet. To me, the love of a greyhound is like no other; it's like their loving and trusting souls become part of your's, maybe that is why it's so painful when one passes on.
My heart goes out to you and maybe in time you will be able to celebrate Phoebe's life. Afterall, by adopting her, you gave her life.
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anna2805
Grey Puppy
Angel Phoebe aka."Princess" (Go Bon Freebird)
Posts: 67
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Post by anna2805 on Jan 1, 2009 0:51:57 GMT -5
Thank you angelollie, Jen and luvmygrey! Day 3. Maya has been taking care of me today, she is not leaving my side practically. I've been sitting in bed half the day just reading greyhound stories, looking at pictures.. she's next to me cuddled up the whole time. I found some funny videos on U-tube of singing greyhounds and Maya and Beamer were such goofs, they made me laugh! Maya was tilting her head, looking at the laptop, then behind it, then underneath.... Beamer was looking from the distance tilting his head. Here is a funny picture I found of Phoebe sleeping... it made me laugh and cry. We didn't go anywhere tonight because I dont feel like facing any people (I dont have to) yet. Turned the phone off. Only few times today I called Maya- Phoebe and started sobbing. I spoke to a friend who is a very experienced cardiac nurse (intensive care) and she told me that Phoebes symptoms point to heart failure and possibly stroke. Not knowing what really happened to her and what caused her death (other then me putting her to sleep) is really, really hard on me. I think we will make another appt with my vet who deals with greys, an awesome guy- David Poulton for a second opinion. I need some closure. I'm so scared that the emergency vet misdiagnosed her... and that I put her to sleep based on assumptions. I miss my Phoebe so much. Every night I hope that I will dream about her. Loving a creature like I loved her is scary... losing them hurts too much. I didn't expect her to go away so soon. She wasn't even 10. My other doggie, Rusty, I had to put to sleep when he was 13-14 (Borzoi/Sheppard mix, he came from the Humane Society). He couldn't walk anymore because his bad hips. One beautiful sunny summer day I had to decide that today was the day for him to go to the Bridge. Then, I thought it was a hard decision because he was not in critical condition. Now I know that having to make that decision when animal is in critical condition is not any easier (for the lack of better word) In the last 3 years I lost 4 pets. Rusty was first.. then the kitty Jimi (12 years old)... then about 3 weeks ago I found out that my other cat, Tresel (who stayed with my ex) died 2 months ago (kidney failure 12 years old also) and my ex never called me to tell me that. Now my sweetest Phoebe died. It's been hard. .......Tomorrow we are going to GRA to see if we can help with the doggies.
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sandysfarm
Grey Lover
positive reinforcement is theElegantSolution
Posts: 676
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Post by sandysfarm on Jan 1, 2009 2:35:28 GMT -5
You know what Anna, only an angel could say what you just said.. 'help with the GRA doggies'...some people have an amazing capacity for goodness in the midst of terrible grief. Sure as God made little green apples , instinct is telling you that the best way to honour your dog and hold her alive in your heart is to go help dogs. There's a certain elegance about that circle; simple and pure. It takes an immeasureable amount of courage to put an animal you adore out of harm's way. I'm sure you will cry for a long time to come but some of those tears I hope will soon be of relief, because in the end, you really did save her.
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