cantcashew
Junior Grey Lover
Missing You Cashew, Run Free Sweet Girl -- March, 2, 1996 - November 21, 2008
Posts: 120
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Post by cantcashew on Nov 27, 2008 18:55:41 GMT -5
After losing my sweet girl, that was so deserving of a loving home and who gave me such joy and love in return, I found myself stating that I would never go through this pain again. Having said that I find myself thinking that there is another grey out there that deserves a loving home. The statement on Multiplicity's message that reads "second hand dogs give first class love" is one of the truest statements I have ever read. As much as I am hurting I keep finding myself back on the GRA website viewing the greys available for adoption.
I have a multi part question and would really appreciate your experienced advice.
Is it to soon to make the decision to adopt again because it's just my aching heart talking?
and, if you are giving thought to adopting two,
Is it best to; (a) adopt one and wait to see if you're ready for another one or (b) see if your grey appears to need a playmate or (c) adopt two at the same time and take them home together?
I thank you for any feedback and I also want to thank everyone for their comforting messages through this very difficult time.
Take care,
Maria
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Post by kjw on Nov 27, 2008 19:09:30 GMT -5
We went through a similar quandry, I'm sorry to say.
We first adopted 2 greyhounds in 2003, well, I planned on getting one little girl but through serendipidy and Bill, we came home with 2 big boys. During our 4th month together, our older boy Cody (aka Kiowa my Dodie) who was 6, died quite suddenly, we think he may have had a cardiac arrest and burst a vessle, but in any case he was gone. We were all devastated.
Cody's brother Bailey (they were actually half brothers)went on a hunger strike, so 1 week to the day of Cody's passing we went and adopted Cantankerous Lou, who Bailey picked out. Well, actually, first he picked this little black boy that was acting as if he was a pogo stick, or a Jack Russel, and I said "no Way, buddy, pick another one" lol. Bailey started eating again right away, so it was clear that he really did need the company of another greyhound.
Once we got Lou home, I found it really was too soon for me to be able to love him right away. I just wasn't ready. This timing is something very personal, and is different for everyone. In time I came to love Lou just as much as I loved Bailey, and he did help us through our grieving for Cody, but it took me a little while to warm up to him.
So, making a short story long, I don't think it's too soon to adopt, I think you're the only one who knows if you're ready.
I also am personally in favor of getting 2 instead of one, especially if you know greyhounds. Everyone might as well adjust at the same time, rather than staggering it out. It's just simpler that way.
Good luck with whatever you decide, our thoughts are with you during this difficult time.
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Post by Heather (& KC) on Nov 27, 2008 19:10:01 GMT -5
Maria, again I'm sorry about your loss.
I'll let those with experience comment on the timing of getting 2. Max is an only child!!
I lost my white shepherd at the end of June. She was a few weeks short of 14. I was heartbroken. I knew I'd get another dog because I love them so much but I didn't think I had it in me to love another pup until at least next spring. I learned of a dog in need of a home and I thought about it and when I decided it was time, he had found a forever home. I had the fever. I was busily searching rescue organizations. Max and I met and the rest is history. While I thought I'd wait a year, it was 9 weeks before I met Max. Ultimately I knew Sambuca (my previous furbaby) would want me to find another pup. She'd want me to share my love. You'll know when it's time. While a new pup will never replace her, you'll find a new companion who will fill your life and your heart in different ways.
Good luck with your decision!!
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Post by tinastroops on Nov 27, 2008 19:13:15 GMT -5
Maria, only you can truly know if you are ready for another hound in your life. In regards to 2, you have to ask yourself a few questions, Do you have the finances, do you want 2? There are plenty of greyhounds that do well as a only child and just as many the prefer company. So the decision of 2 is if that is what you want.
I lost my boy Tilt unexpectly just 3 months ago, my heart still aches, I walked into the kennel just 2 weeks after Tilt's passing and knew in an instant it was to soon for me. Now mind you I have 4 others at home. But I missed my "Big Whte Boy". I fell HARD for Favorite in the kennel and wanted to bring him home that very same night, I begged and begged my husband but he was right it was to soon for me, for him and finanically. I did swear up and down that one day I would own another "White Pup" sired by Tilt's Dad, Splishin Vallie and I found one and I have preadopted him. We figure he will retire next year and for me that suit us just fine.
I hope you are able to help youself through deciding if now or later is a better time. In the mean time Hugs to you and your pup who has crossed.
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Post by linn on Nov 27, 2008 19:20:42 GMT -5
Maria after we lost our last dog and went through 3 years of seizures with her I told my husband I never wanted to go through that pain of loss again. I think everyone is different and you will know in your heart when you are ready. For me a was about a month when I started to bug my husband about getting another dog.
Because this was our first grey we only got one. We weren't sure of how different they were or how things would work out. Two months later we were ready to get another. If I were to do it again now that I have had greys I would probably get two at the same time. They are greyt company for each other and can teach each other. There are many wonderful greys waiting to adopt into caring homes like yours.
Linda
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genia
Grey Lover
Posts: 672
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Post by genia on Nov 27, 2008 19:23:22 GMT -5
when we lost our big male borzoi to bone cancer, we weren't thinking of getting another dog - three girls was OK, but the girls started getting depressed and just lay around the house, all their spunk was gone. We decided to get another male and had looked at other hounds, but the one we thought we might get was out on a trial basis. Somehow we found GRA and decided to get a grey. He didn't replace our goofy boy, but is an addition in his own right. The girls perked up quickly and the difference was quite amazing. It's so difficult to lose a loved pet, and my heart goes out to you. Only you can decide on the timing and the number you want to have.
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rathma
Grey Addicted
we love lying in the spring sunshine!
Posts: 2,521
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Post by rathma on Nov 27, 2008 20:09:49 GMT -5
Well, I have one greyhound and 2 whippets with another on the way next week. I have always told people that I am selfish when it comes to my dogs. I have always had a couple of dogs around because the pain when you loose one can only be healed with another! For this reason, I have always staggered my dogs ages. I know it sounds harsh, but it's the truth for me! Having said that-each and every dog has and does hold a special place in my heart:) Go with what's in your heart...
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kwarner
Junior Grey Lover
Posts: 139
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Post by kwarner on Nov 27, 2008 20:11:33 GMT -5
We lost our first greyhound Sunny to bone cancer about 4 yrs ago. He was the most perfect boy you could ever imagine and he went much too soon. As you can imagine we were devastated and I still miss him. He had been an only child but it took me about 6 months of coming home to an empty house before I thought I was ready to do it again. Three years ago this winter we brought home Albany and Power. This past June we lost Albany to lung cancer, only 2 1/2 weeks after he was diagnosed, so we had no time to adjust to the idea before we lost him. Once again of course he was the most perfect angel of a boy and the loss was devastating. I was going to play it by ear and see how Power did as an only child but it wasn't long before we realized he was lonely. A friend had a 9 wk old Great Dane puppy needing a home so we brought "little" Clarice home. Now they get along ok most of the time and they do play outside but sometimes Power looks at us like "what have you done"! Especially when she's bouncing around in the house and she now makes Power look small and he's 81 lbs. LOL Unfortunately Power was diagnosed with bone cancer in October and I cherish every day with him right now. However, once he goes Clarice will probably be an only child for a while. My bruised heart won't take any more at this point. I'm sure there will be another grey or two in my future but only time will tell as to when that will be. I'm just as sure I will be on this web site all the time looking at the pups looking for homes! And if I didn't have Clarice I would adopt 2 greys at the same time because I think it made the transition easier on them because they were already friends before they came home with us.
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Post by lmcallen74 on Nov 27, 2008 20:55:14 GMT -5
Ohhh hard question...so difficult because the answer is alway unique to the person and his/her situation. In my family, we've always had a mourning period when a beloved pet dies, usually about 6 months - 1 yr. We're big mourners, I guess. Then suddenly, it is like throwing off the black veil of mourning, and you look around and realise that your empty house just isn't a home without a 4-legged fuzzy companion around, and that you are ready to open your heart again to another. It isn't replacing the one that is gone, it is making room in your heart for someone new. The length of time it takes a person to reach that point is up to the individual. I'm sure that when you are ready, you'll know. You'll walk into the kennel and see the right one, maybe s/he will be a new arrival or maybe s/he will have been there a long time already just waiting for someone like you to be ready to notice her/him, but it should be when you feel comfortable and receptive to it. Good luck. Lisa
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Post by multiplicity on Nov 27, 2008 21:05:41 GMT -5
Some people need months or years before they can allow another hound into their hearts, others adopt another a hound (or 2) within days. Only you can answer what is right for you. My first greyhound died unexpectedly and suddenly...I was beyond devastated, insanely devastated. I deeply mourn his loss for 2wks and then (still mourning of course) my hubby and I went to GRA. We knew we wanted 2 boys...but of course asked Bill to help us find the best hounds for our home (we had 5 cats). Bill lead us to 2 young brothers but Chevy had already caught Greg's attention and I am a sucker for the shy ones so Devin caught my eye. We asked Bill to hold them for us since we wanted to wait at least a month after Tex's passing. 2 wks later we went to pick up our boys...we missed our Tex still but were excited to bring home our new family members. When we got there a black senior and his story pulled at Greg's heart strings and long story short we loaded the 3 greyhounds in the jeep and brought Devin, Chevy and Murphy home! Overly ambitious, yes, but I wouldn't do a thing different! When the time is right you will know. Should you get 2? If you have enough love and patience for 2 then 2 would be lucky to share their retirement with you. You will know when the time is right. Edited: to thank you for the complement on my signature.
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ghoundcrew
Grey Lover
The Poochachos: Smitty - Stinger
Posts: 759
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Post by ghoundcrew on Nov 27, 2008 22:40:56 GMT -5
When Brenda and I were engaged, her mother passed away and we took her dog Corky who was 11. He was not a grey but we loved him dearly....he had a ton of spunk, much like a young greyhound and he lived a great life until he passed in his sleep one night at 18 yrs. That night we had gone for a long run, his tongue flying out of his mouth like a big pink scarf blowing in the wind. I was in total shock when he was dead the next day, he was so healthy for 18, I thought he was immortal. There were two greys in our neighbourhood and I would tell Corky that when he left us, we would get a greyhound....
4 years later we were adopted by Smitty and Stinger...many things happened in those 4 years, we travelled through Europe and China, I went back to school to do my MBA, switched careers, bought a place at Blue Mtn etc...but the thought of adopting a grey was always there.
We are so blessed that we have two who roll with us everywhere. That's why I have chosen Ghoundcrew as my Forum name.
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Post by Gigi on Nov 28, 2008 7:17:02 GMT -5
I am so sorry for your loss, and your confusion about what to do.
As everyone here says, the situation is unique to each of us. Although I'd had dogs most of my life, when our Scottish Bearded Collie died at age 14, I was so devastated that I vowed I would never own another dog. She really was like another child, and even the kids referred to her as their sister. I actually held out for almost 14 years before events transpired that eventually led to getting Gigi. I think sometimes that it would have been better to have jumped right back into the dog owning world...but that's hindsight, and as it is, I wouldn't trade Gigi for anything!
Speaking from experience, the only advice that I could possibly offer is, not to be afraid to open your heart.
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Post by angelollie on Nov 28, 2008 9:10:07 GMT -5
Maria ... again, so sorry for your loss. There's something unique about this breed and/or maybe it's something to do with their track environment, but it's like their souls truly become part of you. I think that's why I find it so difficult to deal with when they pass away. It's like I've lost part of myself. The pain is horrible. But, with the passing of each grey I've had, within days, I've gone to get another. I know in my heart that the new grey can't replace my lost one but I like to think that that's what he or she would want me to do - share my heart and home to another grey who desperately needs and deserves the same affection and care. I will still mourn deeply over my lost grey but with a new pup it helps me to start the healing. That's what works for me.
Should you have two? I love having two and would have more if I could at this particular time. My greys, like everyone else, are everything to me. I feel so blessed having this phenomenal breed be part of my life. I just simply love them.
Maria ... as everyone else has said on this thread, you will know when the time is right, when you're ready to let a grey be part of your heart again.
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mecki
Grey Lover
Posts: 666
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Post by mecki on Nov 28, 2008 18:56:46 GMT -5
Ironically, it was Brook who helped put the broken pieces of my heart together when I had lost my little pit of 11 years...I was devastated. I still have 2 greyhounds at home who need me so the space isn't quite as empty this time, but I do play a dangerous game going out to help at the kennel every friday night. As for getting 1 or 2, if you're planning on getting 2, get them at the same time,...or just let things play out as they may. Truthfully, I don't know if I was ready to get another dog, I went through the motions and ended up feeling right about it after the fact. Just follow your heart...
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Post by tbennett on Nov 29, 2008 8:18:07 GMT -5
Maria, I am so sorry for your loss. Like everyone here said every situation is different. In our situation just after Xmas last year we had to put down our Gretta girl down. The hardest thing we ever had to do. I was more upset about loosing Gretta than about loosing my father a few months ago. This sounds crazy but your pets are part of your family. Anyways a girl I worked with Jan, who just went to GRA to help on Christmas day saw a perfect dog for us. I kept saying no way, no way. Govie was getting really depressed and we were not doing that way either. Three days after that Jan so me a picture (not a very good picture) of Lute. That week-end we went to GRA to just look that is what I told my husband. I told Bill that I wanted to find her, well I did. Lute was shaking so bad that her gage was shaking. We took her and Gov for a walk and they got along great. Lutie and Gov get along great. I can't image our life without either one, they go everywehere with us or we just do not go. We found that it is easier for the greys to have more than one. They keep each other company and are great when you are not home. There is just more to love. Good luck with your decision. Tami
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